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Blog << PREVIOUS | NEXT >>I no longer wish to be ME Aug 14, 2011
Give me the ability not to care. Not to think. Not to feel.
Build a force field around me so I’m protected from the things outside of me.
“Not my problem.”
Wouldn’t that be nice? To be able to know of all the “sickness” that lies within the minds and actions of others, and just brush it off?
“Not my problem.”
Not my mother. Not my sister. Not my daughter……..nor father or anyone that’s connected to me nor means anything to me.
Just a statistic.
A life, in darkness, suffering beneath the level in which you wish to see/open your eyes to. It makes me think of those studies where someone’s being robbed or attacked and there’s multiple witnesses just looking on, from their apartments above, yet no one calls the police.
“Not my problem.”
Well what if it BECAME your problem? NOW, something’s got to be done, right? What about prevention? Your actions today, may save you from possible problems of the future. However, if MOST of you had the brains to think so CONSCIOUSLY, then you’d put the highly saturated medical field out of business, now wouldn’t you? You’d rather go through life until a “real” (meaning something DIRECTLY affecting you) problem arises, then do something NOW to keep it at bay.
I got it.
Can you save me from my prison and tell me…
How you do it?
How do you stop a seed from sprouting, once it’s been planted? I want to dig it up and throw it out. SHUT IT DOWN.
It’s mentally and emotionally draining. Then, there’s trying to find balance in helping loved ones who are falling down around you against the ones you may never even meet but feel compelled to save. Like, what the fuck is that? It makes me feel removed from the “normal” world. It’s like everyone’s speeding off in all different directions, and here I am…in the middle of the “traffic” wondering “WHY” and “WHERE” are they in such a hurry to go?
Ladders to climb, people to impress, money to make, “things” to obtain, etc
What’s the point? What do you achieve at getting to the top, besides just getting to the top? And what will you do once you get there? Did you decide, sometime in your life, that all you wanted to do was be on a race til death?
Whatever floats your boat I guess. As for me, just the thought, tires me.
I have no clue about “the meaning of life.” All I know is that unless I drown myself deep below substances to “forget” – true “happiness” – cannot be fulfilled while floating in a sea of misery and suffering. C’est la vie. At least for me.
Only in death, will I truly live because then, I feel, I’ll finally be free.
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