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Yes, My Circle is Complete. I am finally FULFILLED.

May 24, 2011

There have always been 5 people in my life that I lost contact with, who I've been on an endless search for. Found four. They were all a part of my Tampa past. (MY mom gets a mini heartattack whenever I mention that city...details to come, in the book. he he TRUST me, you don't want to miss it)

Mara - my first in boarding school.
Maite - my first real gf
BJ and Terrell - ma girl and her son who I loved as my own and MISSED LIKE CRAZY.
after all these years, I still have the little red hanger his clothes used to go on.

and now...

my 5th.

Zaneta. MY little Polish cutie. Man, I searched for years. I almost gave up...til one day she crossed my mind and I googled her. (I did put in my future "to dos" to get on one of those "Help Me Find..." talk shows. LOL OR, hire a detective) I will forever be grateful for Myspace as it's helped me connect with pasts I've missed for so long.

I just looked at a sketch pad she gave me right before I left the Bahamas. So cute. She always believed in my "skills" and would push me to my potential. My Tampa years were 14 years ago. So you can imagine how it feels to reconnect after so long.

I've kept the sketch pad and she kept one of the poems with her...daily.

Zaneta: "Well, that poem specifically for some reason I wrote it down years ago in my journal that I still write in and this poem of yours is on my 1st page of my other poems. Since you never gave it a title, I titled it "Me". Because it tells an emtional story about how I felt, and how it made me feel. So I am going to grab the journal and here's your poem: BRB"

You wanna see the poem huh? Here it goes:

Lustourous pearl,
Tarnished and Soiled,
My Sunshine,
Set swallowed by the ocean,
Dark drapes,
Fall and blacken my path to happiness,
My emotions,
Tossed in a tornado of confusion,
A Friendship,
Engulfed by anger like a forest fire,
Lost Love,
Two souls torn apart by a force of ambigutiy,
Piercing actions,
Those of which resemble ones of a lifelong rival,
Unnecessary Collisions,
Caused by Substance by evil and abuse,
You were placed on a pedestal to be loved,
Unconditionally,
Like a bolt of lighting,
You struck me down with a flash of Hatred,
Like broken fragments,
One bond scatters the earth,
Shattered memories of a once completed puzzle.

I was 17. Give me leeway. K? ha ha I didn't remember writing it at first, however, it's slowly coming back. Which is interesting. I don't remember writing something so dark, but I do remember a few of the first lines. SO different from my writing now but cool nonetheless.

I remember when we were caught up in darkness...but I've always kept the fondest memories of you and my love, has always and will forever be, unconditional.

:)