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HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!! Me???? Church...Aye and Mmmmm. GRUB!

Apr 17, 2011

OMG.

I’ve got a headache. It’s almost 6pm and I’m sipping on my first cup of coffee. I need the JOLT to have the MOJO to write this entry.

:)

It’s my dad’s birthday today. I started the “honor” of his special day by a phone call at 12:08AM. (My mom was out with him. His birthday TOTALLY flew over her head. Not surprising. Absent mindedness probably brought on through champagne bubble overload.)

Was awakened by a dream of one of my exes at around 7AM. We were getting back together! Did I say dream? I meant nightmare. Ha ha ha My system was too unsettled to go back to sleep, so…with only 5 hours sleep, I got up, got showered and headed out to pick up the remaining ingredients for my daddy’s special day feast.

As I entered the house, my mother informs me that my father said:

“If Cara would go to church today, that would make me happy.”

Ooooooh the bastards got me. I wanted it to be as special as it could be, so “no” left my vocabulary for today.

My mother was running late. My dad was outside beeping the horn. I was ready, so met my father outside and got into the car. Finally, my mother appears. It’s 10:05AM. Church starts at 10AM. While in the car:

(In Chinese, but I’ll translate as I don’t think many of you KNOW Chinese) 

:)

Father: I told you to get up earlier.
Mom: I was waiting for Cara. (Mind you, I was already outside waiting for her for like 5 mins)
Father: Cara was here.
Mom: I was ready, I just couldn’t find my shoes.
Me: Well, that means you weren’t ready. (laughing with dad as he eyes me a wink of approval through the rear view mirror)
Father: Where did the black mark on the back seat come from? (speaking of my mom’s Jag)
Mom: I don’t know.
Father: How can you not know? Don’t you drive this car? Who sat in the back?
Mom: Nobody sits in the back.
Father: Who’ve you had in the car?
Mom: I don’t know.
Father: How can you not know? So what, a ghost did it?
The back and forth was happening for a good 3 mins…and then…
Mom: (explodes in her usual manner not wanting to own up fault) It’s my car, right? If I want to put a dent in it, I can because it’s my car!

Silence.

(Great way to start a church day!!!!)

My dad then starts shooting the shit with me. Typical. In a triangle, two points always touch the ground leaving one side to fend for itself. One duo’s always gonna gang in on the one singled out. So there he was, drawing me into his circle subconsciously forming an allegiance for the day.

Got to church. Dad let us out at the front of the church and went to park the car. I knew it was only a matter of time.

(In Chinese accented English)
Mom: You cou’ na find oda t’ing to wear?
Me: I had less than 10 minutes to get ready. God don’t care ‘bout fashion.
(She’s lucky I didn’t pop out in my favorite Nike running shorts. I wore my favorite Bershka pants…yes, Manin and Indy, the pair you like, a baby tee and my sandals.)
Mom: When you go to pa’ty you dress up.
Me: OK MOM, next time I’ll come in a mini skirt and heels with my tits bustin' out.

Silence.

Got into church. Sat down. Couldn’t tell you much of what was “preached.” What did stand out is when the priest mentioned something about “Well trained tongues” Other than that, I was too busy playing with my palm (Palm Sunday) and daydreaming.

I hate clothes. If I could, I’d spend my days in my undies and a tank top. Being Catholic, my mom should know God created us NAKED! So, shouldn’t we all just go into His HOLY HOUSE, the way he intended? Aren’t we paying Him an ENORMOUS DISRESPECT when we CLOTHE ourselves?!?!! LOL

Why hide God’s natural creation?!?! He he We should have a Sunday where everyone is told to strip down, exit the church and go forth upon the “People of God” as he created us, from the beginning. “GO forth and walk the earth as God intended!!!!!!!!!”

As the priest gave his sermon, I had a vision. (No not hallucinating but something that came to mind and I’d really like to see as a part of my future) It was me, up on stage like a motivational speaker of sorts. I was spreading the word of a “Religion” of Humanity and Love. Simple. No books, no rules, just the common sense knowledge of what’s right and what’s wrong bringing up children of hardship, etc and sharing their story as a reminder of the bigger picture outside of our eveyday surroundings. The best part of this vision is, in the front row of THOUSANDS, were all my most dear and precious friends.

Among the MANY, MANY “careers” that have ran through my mind, a nun and a monk were two as was an evangelist. However, over the years I’ve strayed away from religion and thought about motivational speaking. Just something to use what I’ve got, to help the masses.

Guess we’ll see what the future holds!!!!!!!!!!

K, enough of that.

After church, things pretty much calmed down between my parents and we headed home. Man, I was in the damn kitchen for over 4 hours! On the way home, my dad said he was in the mood for potato salad. (I already planned Eggs Benedict and Portobello mushrooms) Sure. Whatever he wants.

I went to the market real quick to pick up a few more ingredients. I wasn’t about to serve the man JUST potato salad.

So, the menu today was…

A lobster, shrimp, egg and potato salad. (4 lobster tails, 10 jumbo shrimp, 6 eggs, 10 potatoes, mayo, mustard, red onion, black pepper, salt and tobasco. Mmmmmmmm. I made sure scoop my mom’s portion out, as she can’t handle spice for shit and always thinks I mean t tell her "No, it's not spicy at all" when things I eat that she samples chokes her. he he It's the truth though, it's not spicy...TO ME!)

Portobello mushrooms cooked in olive oil, garlic and onions sprinkled with parmesan.

Then the Eggs Benedict. (prosciutto, ham, sautéed grape tomatoes and spring mix lettuce with Gwynn’s Hollandaise sauce. (I messed up the Hollandaise as so much was going on that I used the egg whites instead of yolk. LOL Aye. So, had to make a new batch.)

When it was for both my parents, Champagne was on the menu.
Since it’s for my father, we used, “HIS” Champagne. Ha ha ha (He doesn’t really drink)

My Sunday so far. Yes, I know...you wish to marry me. Yes, cute, but no. Not interested. Thanks. he he

Happy Sunday ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Check out some of Gwynn's other recipes here: http://diaryofamadcookingwoman.com
(Don't you just LOVE the name?!?!)